


The Devil and The Actress

by booklover721



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 5 Times, Angst, Domestic Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, F/M, Hot Tub High School, Humor, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, POV Lucifer, Post-Devil Face Reveal to Chloe Decker, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29705574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booklover721/pseuds/booklover721
Summary: Lucifer's seen Hot Tub High School exactly five times. These are those times.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Mazikeen & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 124





	The Devil and The Actress

**The First Time**

“What’s this?” Lucifer asked, turning the DVD over in his hands. “ _ Hot Tub High School? _ Are we meant to torture him or show him erotica?”

“It’s not erotic,” Maze snapped, ripping the case from him. “It’s some horrible movie from Earth. This guy,  _ Dwayne _ ,” she dribbled sarcasm over his name. “He was a film critic, as well as a peeping Tom. He said he’d rather stab his eyes out than ever watch it again. So I’m thinking, we make him watch it, and then we stab his eyes out.” She wagged her eyebrows with excitement, the scar over her eye wriggling like an inchworm.

“Mazikeen, I do love your creativity. Let’s roll out the betamax, shall we? After you,” he stepped back and gestured into the room, allowing Maze to strut in first. They were in a small movie theater with a ten foot screen and three seats. A balding man with drooping eyes and yellow, crooked teeth was strapped to the seat in the middle. 

“Please,” the man begged, struggling in his chair. Maze popped the disk into a machine and the film began. Lucifer took a seat to the left of the man, and Maze threw herself into the chair on the other side. 

“These are really uncomfortable seats, aren’t they, Dwayne?” She asked him, rocking in the squeaking velvet chair. He grumbled. The title flashed across the screen and then Dwayne screamed. 

“Not this movie, I can’t take it! It’s an insult to the film industry and humanity itself!”

“Oh, I do love a good insult to humanity,” Lucifer said, reaching for a bag of popcorn he actualized next to him. Maze reached across Dwayne, who cowered from her, and dug into the popcorn too. She threw it into her mouth sloppily and laughed as the film opened in a high school where a blonde student was shoving her face with cake in a cafeteria. The actress caught Lucifer’s eye, and he suddenly felt entranced by the screen as the young woman proceeded to vomit onto the boy next to her. He hadn’t seen a movie in a long time--was this really what they were like on Earth now? 

Dwayne began wailing. “Vomit humor is the lowest tier of comedy! It’s not even funny, it’s just gross for the sake of being gross!”

“I think it’s hilarious,” Maze growled into Dwayne’s ear, then gagged as if she were puking, causing him to flinch. Tears streamed down his face. “Don’t you, Lucifer?”

“I, what was that?” He pulled his eyes from the screen.

“Do you hear that, Dwayne? Even the  _ devil _ is enjoying the movie,” she snapped her teeth at him and he howled.

The movie continued, and while Dwayne’s crying and screaming was nonstop and exponentially louder and louder, Lucifer was able to follow the story and found himself invested with the main character as she tried to find the right classmate to bring to prom. He found himself rooting for her as she decided the best way to get the boy’s attention was by removing her red bikini top while in the hot tub with him. Lucifer couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. He wasn’t in this room with Dwayne and Mazikeen, he was on Earth in front of his blonde actress who suddenly stood up and walked out of the hot tub with her top off. Even Dwayne was quiet as her perfect tits bounced, dripping water down her beautifully, long body. The shock of seeing her sent a thrill straight to Lucifer’s cock, and he was instantly hard. 

“Damn, look at that chick’s body,” Maze said, reaching for the popcorn once again. Lucifer jumped, maneuvering his erection out of her reach as she grabbed a handful of the popcorn. 

“It’s a tasteless nude scene,” Dwayne whispered, sniffling. “That actress was only 19, and the director took advantage of her.” Maze smacked his head.

She hissed, “Shut up, Dwayne! Watch the movie.” Lucifer subtly adjusted himself, grateful no one had noticed his sudden attraction. He’d been watching movies since they were invented, but no actress had ever caught his attention like this one. There was something almost familiar about her striking blue eyes, and he couldn’t stop imagining her full lips around his cock, on his body. Sooner than he wished, the credits rolled and the screen faded to black. Lucifer applauded.

“Brava!” He called out, elbowing Dwayne who was nearly convulsing with sobs. “What a film! The cinematography, the mise-en-scene, the acting, I can’t think of what I liked best about it.” He could--it was the tits.

“No more, please, never again,” Dwayne wailed. Maze raised her blades in the air. 

“Fine, you’ll never watch it ever again,” She licked a blade and offered one to Lucifer. “Would you like an eye, my king?”

He still felt dazed and couldn’t get the Actress’s visage out of his mind. He was in no mood for torture. He needed fresh air, or at least as fresh as he could get in his sulfuric kingdom, and he wanted to clear his head. “All yours,” he said. He shut the door behind him just as he heard Dwayne scream in pain.

Perhaps he needed to take a trip to Earth--it had been too long since he’d had sex with humans. This was his body’s perverse way of telling him that he was craving a conjugal visit to  Dad’s creations. 

**The Second Time**

She wasn’t in the sequel. He had suggested it to Mazikeen the next time they visited Dwayne in his theater. He was early to the room, having taken little pleasure in tormenting Ganghis Khan today. It had been so long since he had truly looked forward to and felt excited about doling out punishment. Or perhaps he was just excited about the idea of seeing the Actress again. Her onscreen presence was magnetic, as was her body. 

But when Maze played  _ Hot Tub Hotel _ and Lucifer got comfortable with the popcorn ready, he soon realized that she wasn’t even in this movie. Why had she skipped out on the sequel? Who decided to continue with this series without their bright, young star? The topless women in this film weren’t nearly as appealing as the Actress, sexy as they were. His good mood immediately dissipated. Even the popcorn disappeared.

“Yes, keep screaming, Dwayne,” he spat, standing up and brushing imaginary popcorn crumbs off his lap. “Scream all you’d like, you’ll never get out of here, and this film will never get better!” He left, slamming the door behind him and leaving behind a confused Maze.

So when he had a spare minute, he found the  _ Hot Tub High School _ DVD again. Maze kept it with her other weapons, alphabetically and with care placed between her harpoon and her katana. He grabbed it, telling himself he would return it before she even noticed. He sent Drogos to make the rounds in his place--after all, a good leader could delegate. He slipped into the theater where movies played on a loop for Dwayne. He replaced the movie currently running with his own. Then he gagged Dwayne with the man’s own socks so he wouldn’t have to hear his screams. This time, maybe he’d watch it for the plot. 

Twenty minutes in, however, his erection told him that the plot wasn’t why he liked this so much. It was purely the Actress. She had a captivating energy, a confidence that dripped out of the screen and inspired him to pull his painfully hard cock out of his pants. Generally, the devil did not need to masturbate; who had the time, between the punishment and orgies he hosted for his demons? But there was no one here to have sex with, besides Dwayne, he supposed, but he wanted to pretend. Pretend he was the water she soaked in, the drops running down her breasts and into her bathing suit bottoms, the water she licked off her lips before speaking. He immersed himself in her and she did the same to him. He felt so close to her suddenly, that he could just reach through the screen, reach through hell and time, and touch her cold, wet skin with his hands if only he tried hard enough. He would warm her breasts, balancing their heavy weight in his hands, and then they would both be back in the hot tub, her bottoms removed and him fucking her silly. He could only imagine how well created the rest of her would be--her ass pert, her vagina slipping over him like a glove. 

At the end of the movie, when she finally goes to prom, she kisses the boy and sighs, quietly. Lucifer doesn’t picture her quietly sighing with him--he imagines the noise he could elicit from her as loud and desperate, none of them an act. He rewinds the scene as many times as he needs to before he comes, hard, his body jerking in his seat. He’s brought back to hell the second his cock finishes twitching, back to the theater and back to Dwayne, who’s quietly crying but seemingly unaware of the sin committed right behind him. Lucifer cleans himself up and stays to finish the rest of the movie because hey, it’s already started and the scene where the Actress tries on various prom dresses for her friends to a boppy tune is coming up, and he likes that part. 

The movie wasn’t over before the door was kicked in. Maze fumed from the threshold, ash spinning around her like a storm. “My king, you’re in here?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Just checking in on old Dwayne here, felt like watching a movie,” Lucifer said, even though he didn’t owe an explanation to anyone for anything in his own kingdom.

“You missed punishing that desperate masochist. Did you even finish your rounds?”

“I sent Drogos in my place.” 

“Drogos? I haven’t seen that worthless cretin in a thousand years.”

Lucifer closed his eyes and sighed to himself. A good leader never sent anyone to do a job he had to do himself. Drogos was worthless.

“Well, there’s always tomorrow,” Lucifer smiled, pulling the gag out of Dwayne’s mouth before leaving. 

“Please, not  _ Hot Tub High School _ again!” he pleaded. 

Maze looked to Lucifer for an explanation, but Lucifer merely shrugged.

“I like the way he screams at the end when they all live happily ever after.”

**The Third Time**

Lucifer shut the door of his hotel suite, blood still dripping down his back from his wingdectomy. It pooled in his shoes and crusted between his toes. Not healing immediately was no doubt a message of disapproval from his dear old  _ dad. _

He sucked in through his teeth as he collapsed onto the hotel’s couch, pain lacing up his back to his shoulders. He had sent Maze to find somewhere to store his wings, shoving a handful of newly acquired cash into her hands and telling her to explore the town for the night. As much as he hated his wings and what they represented, he couldn’t bear to part with them completely. Something to evaluate another time, when he was healed and clean and the emptiness he felt right now was thoroughly sated--preferably by a pretty mouth around his cock. Tomorrow he would begin the process of acquiring the building that would house his nightclub, a permanent spot of debauchery and desire, where people would come to him rather than the other way around. 

Lucifer peeled off his shirt and kicked off his pants, grimacing as his blood stuck the material to him like dried glue. Not wanting to bother with cleaning the blood, he tossed the clothes into a pile across the room instead. He then poured himself two fingers of whiskey. After he swallowed it fast, he slid his glass to the side and took a swig straight from the bottle. Classless, but his back still burned with the pain of Mazikeen’s blades. If he could drink enough, he would eventually not be able to feel anything at all. He turned the TV on, and  _ Hot Tub High School _ brightened up the room. Lucifer watched it, or rather stared at the screen without thinking, without feeling. His cock however, couldn't resist the Actress and the way her bikini stretched against her wet breasts. He had wanted to come while watching her earlier today, but now it just felt sad to tug at himself during his pity party. 

It wasn’t a good movie, all things considered. No one seemed to be giving it their all, save his Actress, who was maybe giving too much. 

Lucifer had a sudden and inexplicable feeling in his gut that he needed to protect her and her earnestness, that Hollywood would eat her alive and spit her out with none of that shine in her eyes or smile. The film was ten years old at this point, so whatever was going to happen to this perky woman had already happened. 

He slid the DVD box off the table and searched for her name on the cast list. Chloe Decker. 

The name wasn’t familiar, and he’d never seen her in anything else they played in Hell. She had probably quit acting, he thought, and was out there somewhere with a boring husband and a couple of screeching leeches attached to her once perfect breasts. A truly shameful waste. Dad told his humans to be fruitful and multiply, and they obeyed, mindlessly. He smirked into his bottle of whiskey, drinking deep. Well, here was one less child of God, literally, who would never obey Him again. Hell didn’t need a warden, and Lucifer didn’t need a leash. 

On second thought, he wouldn’t bother wanking. The pity party was officially over--you don’t have to go home (because you don’t have a home), but you can’t stay here (because it’s just  _ sad).  _ He clapped his hands once, inspired by the Actress’s decision to go to the college she wanted to rather than the one her parents were trying to force upon her.

Once he showered, Lucifer would hit the town, see what LA really had to offer, and enjoy himself without Amenadiel breathing down his neck. He decided to find the nearest nightclub and take back every gorgeous woman and man he saw. He would finish his orgy, he would drink some more, and then he’d do it all over again. He regretted sending Maze away for the evening--who would clean the bloody wing marks staining the couch before the group sex occurred? He flipped some cushions over and decided it looked most definitely less murder-y in here already. 

The street was alive with lights and sound. His mood was significantly better--he smiled to himself and noticed every head that turned as he strutted by. The world was his oyster, his ocean, his  _ everything _ now. His wings had held him back, grounding him when they should have done the opposite. And when he crossed the street without looking, straightening his collar and smoothing back his perfect hair, and even when the cop car honked at him and the blonde officer yelled at him out the window that he was jaywalking he felt nothing but alive.

**The Fourth Time**

He’d avoided Dwayne’s theater for as long as he could, but he couldn’t leave him alone for any more eternities. The devil had to make his rounds, and avoiding Dwayne for any longer would start to look suspicious. He couldn’t have the demons noticing anything was off about him, that their king seemed like a lonely puppy in doggy daycare who just realized his owner was never coming to pick him up. 

Though he hadn’t realized it at the time, literal eons ago, this was where he had seen Chloe for the first time, the woman who would change his immortal life. The only woman who could bring the devil to his knees. He should have known there was something special about her from the moment he couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. His first and only love. It was unfair to him that he could still watch her like this, that she could be so close when he could never have her. But would it be better to never see her in any capacity, ever again? Eternity was a long time, after all. His chest ached when he thought of her. The pain was like nothing he had experienced.

“Hell _ o _ , Dwayne. Long time no see,” he said after removing any hint of misery from his face and kicking the door in. “Did you miss me?” A smile plastered on his face, he sorted through Dwayne’s bad movie collection. He recognized all of them from Maze’s collection back home--when would he stop thinking of LA as home? And why did Maze have such atrocious taste in films? “What do we have here?  _ Hot Tub High School _ ? That brings me back to our first time together, how sweet it was.” 

Dwayne straggled against his ropes. “No! No, please!” His begging was already irritating, and it drove Lucifer’s bad mood straight into a brick wall at ninety miles per hour. 

And so Lucifer played the movie, and there was the detective’s name, and then there she was, wall to wall Chloe. It hurt him, but not enough. And then she was on all four walls of the room, Lucifer actualizing a box of Chloe, her light spilling onto him, blinding him in her. Her young voice, her young self, so confident, so light, carrying no grief for her father yet--it surrounded him on four screens, stretching larger and larger until everything was Chloe. He raised the volume as Dwayne yowled and convulsed. Chloe drowned out Dwayne until Lucifer forgot about the sinner, until all anything ever was and ever would be was Chloe. 

**The Last Time**

“This is my  _ favorite _ part,” Trixie stated. Chloe covered her face in embarrassment as her younger self projectile vomited all over her co-star on the screen across from them. Lucifer laughed.

“Maze loves this part too. Detective, how did the fake puke taste?” He bent over and took a bite of the licorice strand in Trixie’s hand. She didn’t mind. 

“I brushed the taste out of my mouth for hours after,” Chloe said. “I’m glad you’re both enjoying this so much.” The three of them were cuddled up on the couch at Chloe’s home, an abandoned board game scattered on the floor. Lucifer and Trixie had voted to watch the movie, majority beating Chloe’s vote to burn the film instead.

“I feel like the luckiest man in the world, watching this movie with its star. Never in a million millennia did I ever think I would be sitting here with you when I tortured Dwayne with it.”

“You used Mom’s movie as torture?” Trixie asked, eyes widening the way they did when she learned anything about Hell. Chloe nudged him with a socked-foot. 

“Excuse me? It’s not  _ that _ bad.”

“Oh, it very much is, and yes, I did. Your makeover scene would have poor movie critic Dwayne screaming louder than Maze with a chainsaw.” 

Chloe sat up. “Wait, Dwyane as in the late film reviewer Dwayne Dell?” 

“The very same. Had a problem with consent, you see.” He smiled. 

“Dwayne Dell’s review of me in this movie made me cry,” she said. “I was 19 and felt so proud, you know? It was my first acting job.” 

Trixie patted her arm while Lucifer took another bite of the girl’s licorice. “Then I’m glad he’s in Hell,” she said comfortingly.

“Beatrice!” Chloe exclaimed while Lucifer laughed. “You shouldn’t say things like that, okay, monkey? It’s not nice, no matter how mean Dwayne may have been.”

Lucifer leaned over towards her and mocked-whispered, “Maze gave him what he deserved.” Trixie smiled with all her teeth.

“How about some hot chocolate, Lucifer, help me in the kitchen?” Chloe took her feet off the body pile and Lucifer pouted, knowing her nude scene was coming up. 

“You know, I really do love this movie,” he said once they were out of Trixie’s earshot. He wrapped his arms around her from behind as she mixed them three mugs of hot chocolate. 

“I don’t know why, you can see me naked any time you want,” she said, her lips ghosting across his ear, the feeling it invoked shooting straight to his cock.

“An offer I would like to take you up on as soon as the mini-demon is in bed,” he replied into the crook of her neck. She shuddered with pleasure. “But this movie did something to me, Detective. In hell, I was so entranced by you, and it was the first movie I watched when I came here for good. Of course, now it makes sense, what with our being together being prophesied. In any lifetime I would be drawn to you like... well, something much more romantic than a magnet.”

“Hmm, I think that was romantic enough. So it turned out Dwayne was right in his critique of me.” She turned to face Lucifer and wrapped her arms around his neck, quoting: “’Only in hell would they like this movie.’” 

Lucifer nestled closer, kissed her, and murmured, “Detective, don’t forget to add whiskey to mine, oh, and maybe the offspring’s as well.” She laughed against his mouth, but he pulled away and swept the three mugs into his hands. “You know what, I’ll just take care to add it to these myself, cheers,” he nodded at her and left her laughing.

In the end, they decided to burn the DVD. You could stream the film anyway.


End file.
